My own naivety

On some say – naive as children. Their views and actions sometimes touched friends, but harming their personal relationships, not to mention professional reputation. Where the source of such behaviors here

– The idea that someone wants to harm me or is likely to deceive, very painful for me, – says the 36- summer Masha. – Perhaps because I myself absolutely trust the people believe in their honesty, as in his own. With age, I had to learn to make amendments to their own naivete, but it is difficult, for example, many colleagues and now I can not boot my work!

– A goodwill naivete and gullibility – explains psychologist. – But these people often hide the unconscious zamyluvanist own helplessness. Man again and again in the role of victim to absolve themselves of responsibility, shifting it to others. That is why the words and actions of a naive man often cause irritation of surrounding or even aggression.

Naivne desire to be loved
Psychologists seek an explanation of such behavior in the analytical theory of relations: Origins naivete may be overly close limo service in Madison between his mother and father. In such a family the wife usually dissolved in men. She believes that only sacrifice keep it a wonderful family. Even if the husband humiliates her, she was out notes.

Such relationships do not involve close contact with the child, it grows in the absence of individual mothers and confidence that it is the best …. As an adult, the child likely will not also ignore the negative features of character of others. read now

– I sincerely believe that between us – true love, and turned a blind eye to the actions of my friend – says the 30 old Catherine. – For the sake of our relationship and I just zmyryalasya sacrifice, though not felt happy. And so it went, until suddenly no partner Catherine left her.

Tip is – Do not rush to comfort companion once again hear his complaint, the victim of his own naivete. On the contrary (not causing guilt), try to bring him to think about what you need to assume at least some responsibility for what is happening to him. You will help him, if you ask precise questions, rather than sympathize with the complaints. Ask, for example, could he do in this situation is something different. Move the conversation humorous direction, along invent behaviors in situations that provoke the manifestations of naivete.

Escape from reality
Adult, looking at the world with eyes wide open, not distinguishing between fantasy and reality, not much different from the child. Keeping a infantile mind, an adult child living in their dreams, stubbornly unwilling to return to earth. 30 – old Olga says: My mother – a man honest and scrupulous – taught me to trust people. Now I can be offended or even disappointed in other people, but I try to remain open to the world, not from people vidhorodzhuyusya not stop trust them. more

naive desire and pohlyadyTse another mechanism naive to treatment may be a manifestation of the unconscious desire to escape from reality, cease to perceive it such as it is possible that a child Olga was subjected to emotional pressure from relatives. And now the naivete protected from possible aggression, easier to seem naive, cleaning madison what is going on than trying to be an adult, ready to answer for their actions.

Naive reaction may consolidate for years, and naive style is handling.
Kate, 26, hudruk: – I try to keep my principles, I know that I speak of friends and colleagues, Kate – good soul. really trying to be open and without a hitch, despite its simplicity lot of suffering. – The Ballet School, where I studied, classmate repeatedly brutally shutkuvaly over me … but it did affect our relationship – still I counsel them and help when they ask me. Still, having gone through a lot of frustration, trying to keep his principles, I found that you need to surround yourself with people who are like me. This position narrowed my circle of communication, but now I feel protected.

How to change your view of the situation, and again suffering from his naivete, you often do not even try to learn from bitter experience. Try to remember when and why you first have to behave naively. Think about how you can change your style of behavior, while developing confidence.

How to treat other people your parents? Are you feeling adult? Focus on your adult personality and answer yourself the following questions. Can I stop believing in what she believed in before? Why am I teaching experience? What qualities should I expect to feel independent person?